Time ago I wrote about death, I told you that according to the quantum physics, consciousness is not finite because is the soul who remains alive regardless the space-time the soul decides to stay.

No matter the path we choose in life, all of us at some point in our lives we’ll have to transcend because that’s the absolute and irremediable law of fate; of course, the way we decide to do it, is only part of our master plan.  

We barely talk about the subject of death because we’re afraid to find out what’s behind it; like I’ve told you a couple of times, human beings have the terrible habit of humanize everything that’s far from our reasoning, we believe in that God that has a man’s body; we keep believing that any extension that comes from the most powerful energy is nonexistent because it doesn’t express itself based on the conditionings that demand us the proof of life.

Our concept of death is based on a consciousness of separation because we are comfortably asleep over a collective amnesia that’s why, we feel in a third place related to the Universe, God or energy; that’s the reseason why death becomes unknown because anything we didn’t make contact with being “alive”, isn’t sure is going to follow us when we transcend.

I’ve decided to talk about death because a few days ago one of the most important man for me passed away, he played the role of my grandfather; he decided to experiment 93 years of life, had children, grandchildren and a wife who he loved and who decided to leave 7 years before him; my grandfather was responsible, caring, loving, compassionate; someone who I never heard criticizing, condemning, mocking, excluding or questioning others; a man that was always quiet and introverted, that make me honour the silence as the most precious thing, a human being that had wonderful attributes and who left a huge mark on those who loved him; simply an unforgettable man.

How did I live his death? I lived it from a place of acceptance and without resisting to his loss because in that moment I understood that if I resisted to accept the fact, not only I would feel pain but the suffering would look for me to be by my side; I remember his last days; in new year’s eve something in me knew he’ll leave soon, so I thank him his presence and I shared with him how much I loved him, expressed how much I honour having chosen him as my grandfather; I told him that if he needed to rest he could do it without any remorse; he similed and answered me: “thank you and I’ll still be here”. I’ll have that moment printed on me for the rest of my life; nine days later he left, and you know something? Despite that he’s not here he’s still present when I invoke him in my mind; I know that I won’t ever forget my grandfather because thanks that he existed, I exist and that’s enough to keep him alive.

There are persons who leave very suddenly and they go without letting us saying goodbye; I know that my grandfather was an old man and maybe exhausted for many years; yet it was impossible not seeing him as someone eternal and despite he accomplished a circle of life, there’s no goodbye that feels enough; it’s only when you’re at that moment next to a souless, spiritless, lifeless body, when you realize that nothing and nobody is yours.

Saying goodbye to my grandfather made me realize he wasn’t the only one  I’ll see leave nor say goodbye; that made me conscious of the most lovely thing I can to do for me: leaving them without  attaching anyone to my conditioning of existence; maybe I can’t see or touch him anymore but I’m certain that he’s fine; I believe that when we celebrate life through death, we go back to our best state that’s freedom, the one that doesn’t need to be recognized through others to belong; we just become the consciousness that lives eternal in another place where time doesn’t exist.  

It’s been only 8 days and still hurts, but I don’t question my pain nor push it to go away, I neither repress it just because the others tell me that I have to be strong; I allow myself to feel because I’m conscious of the impact of my emotional states on every inevitable situation I experience in this journey.

I find incredible that when you love someone, how that person has the capacity to contribute to your happiness, and suddenly, s/he becomes part of your sadness as well; I allow myself to cry for him and mourn my loss a few longer; I don’t condition the time to let him go, that’ll happen when that memory doesn’t bring any pain with it; remember that every person lives a process that’s sacred like any other; I choose to believe that he’s with his beloved ones and in some place that I can’t ambition yet; but when I do it, he’ll be there to embrace and welcome me, for now, life goes on for me and for everyone.

It’s very hard to admit that someone we love is gone because that stops our whole world; but I want you to know that’s not necessary to feel any anguish because those who were ready to close their eyes and wake up in another place they’re still living in you and despite their unreachable journey I’m sure that when our time comes, all of them will receive us to join them to their incredible time.

Nobody knows in this world when the time we finally meet with all of them will come, what I can suggest is that you have to live; you have  to experience; you have to love; you have to laugh; you have to hug; you have to express; you have to cry; you have to forgive;  you have to fail and continue; you have to release; you have to integrate; you have to accept; you have to exist; you have to be conscious but most of all, you have to learn how to live without anyone and only be in presence of yourself because if you don’t do any of this, then your life won’t  be useful at all.

I know how much you miss those who have left and you’ll possibly do it forever; nonetheless, everytime you’ll be more conscious that living without them is possible; please when you realize that, don’t feel any guilt because that doesn’t mean you forget about them, it means that you have understood that those travelers have respected that you stay here to keep experiencing life, and if you are still afraid of letting them go; then choose not keeping that love you couldn’t give them, it’s better if you give it to all those people who feel lost without someone; those who feel worried to exist in solitude; those who are sick and don’t have anyone next to them; those who don’t know how to exist without anger; those who don’t know how to accept and love themselves; because if there’s something left for everyone, it’s the huge amount of love we are able to give.

Goodbye Grandpa, Shary ChavLó ∞