Maybe in your childhood your mother or grandmother told you this: “the day you get married…” Because it was important for the femenine programming in our genealogy to continue with the same timeless line of thinking that told them that having a couple was the main purpose of any woman, ‘cause for your family, cultural and social system of beliefs; being a woman is the same as being a mother and a wife. 

Have in mind that throughout history, the belief of being a woman has been based on the idea that we’re below God who has been imposed upon us as a man; in the same way, this system has forced us to believe that the only child of that masculine energy could only come from a virgin and this imposed belief, has positioned women in a difficult place  to abandon. 

I’m sure that you’re aware of the situations we’re experiencing as a society and most of all, as women; all those situations seem unfortunate to me and of course, worrisome and it’s really difficult not taking stand, avoiding judgment, feeling free form anger and of course, not  looking for someone to blame. 

Before you keep on reading me I want to tell you that I write this reflection from my own observation and I’ll never try to impose my opinions in matters that are so painful and sometimes when the pain is poorly managed tends to protect itself from a dual perspective where we need to blame someone ‘cause we don’t know how to deal with how we feel. 

To begin with, why are we as women choosing to cease existing through the opposite sex?, why have we chosen to manifest men who act from hate towards their inseparable counterpart?, will it be for the need of control and power? will it be ‘cause men feel better than the opposite sex?, will it be for the simple fact that we are women?, could it be that women don’t value themselves enough? My questions are infinite, but my answers, until now, have been null, ‘cause I know the search for the answers to all this would cuddle my judgement and in the end, I’ll feel unsatisfied with the explanations of my reason. 

In my opinion, all the situations we’re manifesting are the accumulation of the religious, social, cultural or family beliefs there are in relation to be a woman, ‘cause being a woman for our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers surely meant sacrifice for love, family and for their husband even though he could be the cause of their death, for the catholic religion being a woman was equal to shame, for society being a woman means being hypersexualized ‘cause real women have to show nudity, in order to be accepted; all those beliefs made the universal mind we all women share, generate the idea that being a woman is dangerous and that feminity has not value at all. 

Mexico is one of the countries with thousands of feminicides, according to recent statistics approximately 10 women are murdered per day; a month ago we experienced a very sad situation that overcame our tolerance and human understanding; it was the case of a 7 year old girl who died on the hands of  a couple and she was tortured until her last breath; I don’t know about you, but at first I couldn’t empathically understand this fact; nevertheless, I prefered not to put a judgement in my mind and without any resistance, I chose to let go and accept that this child became the teacher who taught us the way we are vibrating as a society; the same reaction I had when I knew about a 9 year old boy who died on the hands of her mother and her couple, the way he died, goes beyond the unexplainable; these cases made me think: “how far a woman can go as long as she is next to someone.”

“The bravest act for a woman is to think for herself and out loud.”

Coco Chanel .

What’s empowerment? It’s the personal power that human beings deserve to experience and that’s not sustained by economic abundance, physical beauty, profesional success or the fear you generate to others with your dominant attitude; the empowerment begins with the coherent concept you have about yourself and the conscious value with which you look at yourself ‘cause when your personal power is balanced you’re able to observe the others as equals ‘cause we see the world as we are and not like it really is.   

It makes me feel deeply sad the situation we as women are experiencing but I don’t want to convince myself that for being a woman my life is in danger, I choose not to blame men while I remain as the victim only to feel better with myself, ‘cause if I have something clear, it’s that victimization has a very high cost, I won’t be in the position of buying the idea that the cause of everything are men who are rejecting my gender ‘cause that would mean leaving my personal power to someone who doesn’t deserve it; so I’ve decided to believe that the cause of our lack of empowerment to establish healthy limits with the others comes from our need of being recognized by the opposite sex;  ‘cause we have believed that we’re less than men; ‘cause we think that women can’t be alone that’s why we choose dangerous teachers to teach us how to be on our own. 

The root of the problem is that nobody taught us how to love ourselves without someone by our side; the belief of the inherited guilt makes us believe that women are the ones who suffer; when it happens that a woman’s worst enemy, sometimes is another woman and I sincerely believe that if we don’t attend the causes we’ll always fight against the circumstances.  

I believe that in order to gain our personal power back, we need to reconcile ourselves with the women we have been told to be, we need to forgive our sexual beliefs and assume our sexuality as something natural; we need to accept the personal and the external pain to see it as the master that teaches us the places where it’s necessary to change, we need to stop seeing men as the enemy of our story; it’s important to become aware about the things we’re creating and most of all observing those women who have decided to give their lives for us to teach us how to recover our dignity back starting by believing in it, ‘cause we’re a fundamental part in this planet simply because we’re capable to create; therefore, we need to stop creating tragedies; we’re capable of being without anyone and this doesn’t mean that we’re against men, just means that we’re also independent with the same right to choose with whom we want to be with; without our personal value be conditioned and until we don’t understand this, we’ll keep attracting the teachers who turn our voices off until we understand that the conflict of everything comes from our lack of self-love; ‘cause this type of love, it’s the one that has to be expressed out loud. 

I honour you woman, Shary ChavLó ∞