I’ve thought that one of my worst flaws is that I’m addicted to loneliness and on many occasions I’ve judged myself for it; to the point of projecting my beliefs in other people’s mouths, and when I listen the others telling me that’s not good to remain in my own world, that’s when I prove the power of my judicious mind that has been able to materialize those judges in the outside. 

I believe that all of us have transited through moments where we feel we have to go against the world and that feeling produces an existential emptiness in us that we call “loneliness” and when that loneliness turns into the enemy, we decide to manifest experiences and relationships that become violent and as long as we belong in them, we’ll cover up those feelings of solitude, although that implies going against our self-love. 

Have in mind that we’re condictioned by the outside to believe that being with someone is the same as being with oneself and when the others leave or the external noise turns off, we detach from that personal connection that was fed by the approval of others, because by free will we have decided to give our personal power to the external causes that made us feel accompanied; but in reality, we were disguising that company through a conditioning loneliness. 

Loneliness is a necessary state in our human experience ‘cause it’s the only one that allows us to know ourselves through our inseparable dualities; this means that rejecting loneliness means to live dependent on challenging environments that’ll remind us how lonely we feel; to our biological mind experiencing a life in solitude is impossible ‘cause we wouldn’t survive without a pack, but our conscious mind that’s determined to the evolution, knows that loneliness is the necessary channel to find the answers that connect us with peace in a world of constant war; therefore, loneliness is and will be the only one that help us to connect with the truth that’ll make us free. 

The mind is made to send thousands of thoughts per day but many of them are originated from a unique thought; for example, when loneliness is the cause, the thoughts around it are feeding by that belief; this means that we believe that’ll be alone forever ‘cause there’s not even a dog who barkes at us; we think that being locked up at home is horrible ’cause we can’t talk with anyone; we idealize a couple that make us feel more lonely than accompanied and this happens ‘cause behind all those stories we tell to ourselves, there’s fear of recognizing that we don’t need to be next to someone to feel complete.  

“Loneliness, when accepted, becomes a gift that’ll lead us to find a purpuse in life.”

Paulo Coelho.

Maybe when you walk on the street and go next to someone, hardly you see the details around you ‘cause you’re more aware of the other or if you go alone you’re more aware of your thoughts; the ones, that tend to be away from yourself; you do this as a defense method to not enter in contact with yourself and discover that loneliness is the path to reconcile with everything you’ve been told to be and accept everything you really are. 

Remember that from a very young age we’ve been trapped into the concepts of what’s right and wrong and seeing us enslaved to them, that’s when we generate resistance to everything that vibrates negative ‘cause we keep positioning ourselves in the idea that we’re the good people while we project the bad feelings and that double speech  transforms into a double moral and it can only become conscious when we’re alone ‘cause to reach the illumination of that shadow we need to face the darkness of our being; thus, turn that gloom into the trampoline that moves us to reach the realm of consciousness. 

Something that seems to me an important point of attention and that must be considered, is that one of the causes of the unfortunate feminicides, consists in that most of those women decided to relate romantically with violent men before conceiving themselves alone; and unfortunately, they didn’t have the time to become aware in solitude that what they experienced wasn’t love at all, ‘cause for their unconscious programming being without someone was impossible, to the point, that they chose to give up to themselves instead of putting an end to the weapon that would kill them. 

Currently the collective situation is also confronting us individually ‘cause staying at home, means to return to those rejectment states with which we have to deal with and we don’t want to face them because deep inside we know that reconnecting with oneself means to find our attachments, insecurities, dependencies, sadness and grief; and without any filter, we’ll discover the big lies we have told ourselves  for years, where we have believed that happiness was with the others; but the reality, is that happiness resonates when we dare to reconcile with the sadness that generates us the belief that being with oneself, is unworthy.

I want to tell you that I don’t judge you if your biggest fear is being alone; I just invite you to become aware of your beliefs, interpretations and projections related to loneliness; and especially, think in which concept you have yourself ‘cause without no doubt that concept will make you manifest the same treatment; remember that the feeling of loneliness dwells in the belief of thinking that you’re not good enough to the others and for fear of  recognizing that emotional dependency, you are destined to stay in environments that are unfair while you disguise them as love, ‘cause that loneliness that deep inside dominates you, gives to your mind enough reasons to stay away from yourself; but if you choose not to give any power to those thoughts, you’ll have the will to say goodbye to everything that no longer contributes you; ‘cause the greatest loneliness consists when you give up to your self-love and when you have given up to being alone with yourself. 

Stay with you, Shary ChavLó ∞