I normally start every writing with a personal experience related to a topic I want to address; nonetheless, on this occasion I can tell you that talking about personal trust is something that I’m still thinking and inquiring about; to begin with: what’s trust?, what does belief means? Now that we’re adults and have experienced numerous bittersweet situations that life brings with, it has been easier to distrust, ‘cause when we have disposed ourselves to trust, we’ve felt that we’ve been betrayed or something didn’t work out as desired.

Sometimes our need of belonging is bigger than our capacity to let go or detach from what hurt us ‘cause distrust comes from the non-existent and from the illusions that the mind tells us about the scenarios we would face if we give our trust; the word trust means to act with faith; a couple weeks ago I talked you about religion and I told you that independently that we believe in it or not, within us, there’s an unconscious collective information that was inhereted for our genealogy; culture and society, where religious beliefs predominate and make us believe that everything related to God is outside oneself.

When we talk about faith, our logic mind relates it with something religious; nonetheless, faith is the power or the intention we give to our beliefs; but in the dual world that we must experience, we suppose that faith is the gain we obtain when we believe that the answers are outside ourselves.

“There’s a big difference between trust and belief, trust is personal and belief is social.”

Osho.

If you start to think what kind of talents you have, maybe it would be hard for you to identify them, this happens ‘cause we have been taught to live under certain principles, of what society approves and what not; therefore, it’s easier to try to match to the external talents; so in that way, we can achieve the acceptance we’re looking for instead of recognizing our talents as unique an unrepeatable.

Comparison is the most lacerating tool we can use against our self-steem ‘cause to determine our personal value through the value of others, is a condition that’ll never allow us to trust in who we are and in what we’re capable of; this is a consequence of the comparisons we’ve been induced to carry by the collective to which we all belong; the same, that make us feel guilty for not having, not looking or being what it needs us to be, in order to feel accepted and respected as someone valuable.

Maybe you’re in a relationship where the infidelity, lies, and mistreatment have been what have made you distrust in that person; nonetheless, I believe that’s not the other person who makes you distrust but it’s you who don’t trust that you can be in a situation of equality and common love; ‘cause you got used to the things being incomplete; therefore, you don’t trust that you can have a stable couple and prefer to project that distrust that makes you feel that you don’t deserve to be complete in a relationship; you possibly experience relationships in which you don’t trust ‘cause you’re afraid of feeling betrayed and in turn, you realize that you can betray too; therefore, this drives you to distrusting in yourself in order to eventually relate with security and fearless of betrayal; probably your situation is that professionally you haven’t reached the place where you want to be, ‘cause you think it’s very difficult and it’s almost impossible to be in your dreamed place; but the reality is that you’ve never been taught to trust in the uncertainty, much less, taught you to value, empower, love and trust yourself, so in this way you could achieve everything you imagine, ‘cause learning that, would mean detaching you from those rooted beliefs you need to make yourself believe that you won’t ever achieve something in your life.

The hardest thing about trusting oneself is releasing the control that generates us the uncetainty; releasing the control of the others and letting them be; releasing the control of the appearances in order to become oneself; releasing the doubts and recognizing that everything is part of the experience; releasing the concepts you have about youself in order to forgive yourself for not fitting into the standards of perfectionism; releasing the need of comparing yourself ‘cause you believe that outside of you is what makes you happy; releasing the fear of daring to love yourself the way you are; releasing the distrust generated in us by the others who make you feel that you can’t be loved, respected and valued; releasing the beliefs you have about how hard it is to be happy without someone by your side, ‘cause you don’t trust that you can be happy by yourself; therefore, if it’s hard for you to trust, first be honest and ask yourself if you’re really disposed to release the control that generates in you the insecurity of a world that you believe doesn’t understand you.

Have in mind that when we trust in ourselves, things take a different path in our lives ‘cause we dare to give more power to the possible and we take attention away to the impossible; so trust in yourself to end up a relationship that has ceased to contribute you, trust that you can; trust that you also deserve to manifest amazing experiences, trust that you have the right to be happy, feel full and live; therefore, give up to that comparison towards those who have achieved ‘cause they aren’t different from you; the only difference is that they, unlike you, have trusted that their dreams can become true.

Trust yourself, Shary ChavLó ∞