In the human being exist 5 wounds that we develop as years goes by, capable to mark and cover our true self.
Long time ago I had my first experience living with someone and I can say it was the biggest mistake and the most accurate decision I’ve ever made; everything started with arguments provoked for the lack of assertive communication on my part and he as my counterpart, as time went by, decided to blame me for the situation time and time again, he avoided meeting up with me, and I insistently sought to speak and meet him but in the end, the only thing I managed to do was to disagree with him. I lived thinking why the situation was that way? And so, 8 months passed without understanding his evasion towards me, and I allowed the situation to turn me off…
Until one day, I decided to ask for help because the situation changed my mood and in a magic way a book came to my hands: “Heal your wounds and find your true” by Lise Bourbeau.
This book explains that human beings have different wounds since the moment of our gestation and throughout our life we develop others during the different situations we experience, and to defend them, we use masks that operate for us to face the day by day, these wounds are:
Rejection – The fugitive mask.
Abandonment – The dependent mask.
Humiliation – The masochist mask.
Betrayal– The dominator mask.
Injustice – The rigid mask.
People who have the rejection wound, feel rejected by the environment; doesn’t live grounded in the material world and prefer loneliness because that way nobody can see them. People with the abandonment wound, are people who are dependent and choose the rol of the victim to avoid any responsability of their lives and their biggest fear is loneliness. People with the humiliation wound are people who like to be under everyone, feeling responsible of everything and always shamed of themselves. People with the betrayal wound will seek to have everything under their control because no one is more right than them, therefore, they are tremendously suspicious. The injustice wound uses the rigid mask, this means, these people are extremely unjust with themselves and seek perfection in everything, and the biggest fear for them, is to err.
It’s not what you live what makes you suffer
but the interpretation of what you live,
what makes your wound don’t heal.
Lise Bourbeau.
When I realized this, I finally understood that I was dominator by nature with a deep rejection wound, living with a person with the same wound and a deep wound of abandonment; I understood why he victimized so much, blaming me of everything, I began with my process of understanding, acceptance and forgiveness towards me and of course towards him, even though I’ve never approved the actions that he’d decided to have, I was finally able to let him go, forgiving my relationship with him and using the relation as the best of my teachers and although the relationship ended, I decided that the situation would transform me to be the person I was destined to be.
If you have the chance to read this book, do it, and when you end it please look at yourself without judging you, just love and accept yourself, because thanks to those masks you’ve known how to face world, this way you’ll realize the others weapons to address life.
Always remember, in this life we all have wounds that have hurt us, and some, still feel their open wounds; for that reason, I ask you to start looking with the infinite compassion that’s in you, to see yourself and to see others through it.
The soul’s wounds never leave because they are marks that have been with us as years passed; the moment we decide to observe them we’ll know that they are just there, and we’ll begin to enter into our own consciousness and we’ll understand that they don’t operate for us, today they only represent one more seal in our history.
I hug you,
Shary ChavLó.
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