One of the things that inspire me the most in this world are the Disney-Pixar® creations, for me these are movies whose messages go far beyond a family time with the children, because their contents are trully profound and reflective.

Few weeks ago, the premier of “Coco” took place in Mexico. This is a very traditionalist country specially when it’s about family matters, one of the most rooted customs is the “day of the dead” and it’s about making an offering to our ancestors to honour them every year.

When I talked you about invisible loyalties, I told you that we are a product of reparation of a family system that’s ruled by an unconscious that keeps the information so that we can repeat for unconditional love, ‘cause we have to remember that our generation and the ones that follow are the repairing generations of an imposed lineage.

Soemthing that called my attention in this movie was Miguel; he’s a boy who desires with all his heart to become a musician, nevertheless, in his family is prohibited to be a musician because the great grandmother was married with one but he abandoned her, that made her great grandmother generate a belief that musicians could not exist in the family because all of them were the same and ungrateful, for that cause Miguel has no permission of his tree to make his dreams come true.

There are two conflicts in this family tree, the first is that all the members work making shoes that’s called a narcistic knot where everything remains the same and the fate of each member is repeated, on the other side, there’s no permission to bring the dream of music to reality because this represents a tragic memory of an injured tree.

For love we’re not only copying the values
of our parents, but also their fates.

Alejandro Jodorowsky.

I’ve told you many times, human beings have the need to follow a system to feel included and in that way be defined. Our family tree is always looking someone who make those conscious acts so it can be released from those beliefs that just tied it.

Remember that eventhough the family tree needs to be freed, at the same it’s resisting to change because somehow the tree believes that is being dishonored because one of the members has been disloyal to all the beliefs that have worked for years and generations; that’s when Miguel goes to the land of the dead to ask for permission and the first thing the grandma does is be ofended and say no to him. That’s the purpose of any tree or family system, take it out of it’s own status quo so it can be transformed.

In the world exists a wrong belief about self-love bceause we’ve believed that loving ourselves is related to selfishness, loving ourselves is not about being narcistic is about accepting we are in this existence to have the life we yearn for, without affecting anyone and without repeating an alien fate because that will be the most selfish act to ourselves, is not bad that we honor our family, but the best way to honor them is remember them with love with the premise of not repeating their story.

Mexico is a country with this very rooted family tradition compared to other cultures, nonetheless, we all came from an unconscious system which has to be transcended because is a system that doesn’t belong to us and is very comfortable for us to follow it and in that way enter into a confort zone because it’s easier for us to adapt into the system instead of it to adapt to us.

Like I’ve always said, I believe that one of the best tools we have is the observation and when we allow ourselves to observe that system we’ll be able to understand the role we are playing in it and compassionately we’ll achieve to transcend it from ourselves, remember that our ancestors didn’t have the scope of information we have today, that’s why, for them was more simple to follow those patterns that became their lives, so our ancestors followed and inherited those patterns to us as a symbol of their own ignorance believing that in that way they could protect their beloved ones.

In my experience I can tell you that getting out of that system can turn into a challenge because it’s easier to fit in it ‘cause is a built structure, in which we only participate but we don’t help in the construction, and if we insist in not accepting those facts and become those harmful judges, then we’ll be choosing to blame others for the life we have, believing that the best solution is hating the system and resisting to it, but remember what resists persists, until you understand and accept it with love knowing that you didn’t have the control of those unconscious programations, but today, is your responsability to decide how you look at it and in that conscious way choose if you repeat it or not.

I believe in you,
Shary ChavLó ∞