[When I started to grow up I remember those talks with my friends related to the man of our dreams: “an attractive man, someone who respects me, to be my friend, to be a gentleman, a good lover, but must of all, someone who loves me.

Seems one of the purposes why we came to this world is to find love, because we have been lead to believe love refers to a person and it’s very important and almost an obligation to find something we perceive outside us, thus becomes the biggest challenge because if we don’t get someone who loves us, then we won’t achieve the mission why we came here.

Something surprising for me is that when we learn about someone who found love, we feel a combination between happiness and sadness because within our beliefs we think “how lucky is that person because finally found what looks as the hardest challenge” so we ask ourselves: When is going to be my turn?

I ask myself when is going to be the moment to celebrate the recognition of self-love because as far as I know, loving ourselves is one of the biggest achievements we can have as human beings because get to that point is to know that if I resonate in love, that’s what I’m going to attract, when are we going to celebrate self-acceptance without the outside defines us according to the imposed standards of beauty, wealth, and of course, love?

I want you to keep in mind that the concept you have about yourself, how you feel about you and how you think about the world you live in, that same way you’ll attract the person you are looking for because everything we come across with is related with our level of resonance and consciousness.

Have you ever asked yourself: what do you want?, do you really want a couple or it’s the pressure of your age?, why do you want a couple?, what is a couple for you?, you have those things you’re asking from a couple? When you answer please be conscious about your answers because there relies your hidden beliefs.

1.- If you don’t have a couple because “there’s no one” maybe it’s because you don’t want a couple and you know something? It’s perfect, in the end, you are with you and there’s no place more beautiful than you.

2.- Maybe you want a couple for not being alone or you want someone who makes you happy but let me tell you something, if you keep looking for someone based on the lacking you’ll find someone who can’t help you to fill that emptiness and constantly you’ll find that kind of people over and over until you get to look at yourself and realize from which place you want to materilize that perfect couple.

3.- If for you a couple is someone to accompany you, someone you want to support you in the good times and the bad times, someone with whom you can build something wonderful, then start by resonating as a couple the moment you are asking for one, without thinking that men should pay or that they are the ones who have to conquer you or the woman you want has to be a “lady” in society but wild in bed; remember that a couple is that person who becomes one with you.

4.- If you are looking for someone to love you, respect you, take care of you, recognize you, admire you, I think you are all wrong, you don’t want a couple, you want a big fan who can worship you all the time because you are connecting with narcisism, a place that doesn’t include anyone, now imagine what you are going to attract, a person who cannot include you in his/her plans because both of you will look at yourselves from the disguise you wear to like others. My intention is that you realize all you ask observing what’s within you: do you love yourself?, respect yourself?, recognize yourself?, admire yourself? Then how are you going to attract what you’re asking for if you don’t resonate the same.

5.- If you are afraid of finding a couple because all of them are the same, then: what kind of patterns are you following that you haven’t noticed? And when are you going to stop connecting with all of that and be ready to transcend those beliefs that are only tying you.

Have in mind that all those beliefs concerning to love are the ones we’ve chosen to believe because for thousands of years we’ve lived love as a concept not as a reality; have present that true love vanishes itself when we try to define it because like I’ve said repeatedly, love is a state of present and a state of consciousness related to freedom and we’ll be able to know that love when we start to love and accept ourselves the way we are without having the need of change to be liked by the other, that’s when we’ll understand that a couple is one of the attributes of that love.

The only possible couple is not the union of two childish egos
but the collaboration of two free consciousness.

Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Please start by your own act of consciousness understanding that if you are looking for a couple you will attract someone with the resonance you are today, believe me I’m very excited of knowing that you want to find someone with whom you want to stablish a beautiful long term relationship, but I don’t want you to find someone who covers your absences and lackings, because uncounsciously we always look for everything we didn’t have, you deserve the best because you are the best, I just need you to realize how valuable you are, thus you deserve someone who’s next to you not behind you.

Perhaps you are confused because what you really want is falling in love with someone and not to love someone, both are far from the same feeling, even the scientists say that being in the state of crush produces in our brain the same effects as cocaine; falling in love represents generate strategies of conquering which are based on: the need to be liked by the other, the need to be loved, the need of someone to be with you always, need the other in order to make you happy, thus, you will do everything to please the other and you will forget about yourself, because like I’ve said, all of that are strategies based on the fear of not feeling alone, loved or worthy enough and you will find someone to give him/her what you’re not able to give to yourself, an then will come to you a person who adapts to your need of being in love and in the process of that relationship, that person will teach you what you need to heal in yourself so in that way, you can finally realize what’s the person you really deserve and there’s when the true love will arrive in your life, that amazing feeling that only comes from your own acceptance because you have the bravery of looking at yourself thanks to that person you used as your mirror, and so you’ll be able to love yourself the way you are and in that resonance you’re choosing, will come to you a person who can contribute to that love the same way you’ll do with his or hers.

Always have in mind what you think about the opposite sex is what you are going to constantly bring to your life, so stop repeating to yourself: “there’s no man, all of them are cheaters, there are no gentlemen anymore, all women are jelous, crazy or intense, I’m forever alone, etc., I repeat, you will materilize all of that because that’s your truth and by consequence your reality.

Please from now on promise you to be in contact with yourself and observe that what you see in the outside is the proyection of your own beliefs, until you comprehend that love is not outside of you, love is within you and with that same resonance you will attract that person you are yearning for, someone who can contribute next to you to build together, someone that looks at you because you look at yourself, someone who can value you because you know how valuable you are, someone who can love you the way you are because you don’t try to change yourself but to be a better version of you, and so, there won’t be a better benefit for the other than love you, and that will mean that you finally found love, the one that can only come from you and allows you to have the will to share with the other.

You deserve the best,
Shary ChavLó ∞