I believe over the centuries we’ve grown up with mistaken beliefs about sexuality, it was believed that the only function of women was to give life; time after that, people believed that having sexual relations was God’s gift to the married couples, and today, we still have myths refering to it.

You must know that the word sex comes from the latin “sexus[1]”, which means separation, meaning a state of being either male or female. When we refer to have sex it’s because that encounter between two people, makes that separation becomes unity.

Find that divine true in the
profound mystery of your sexual energy.

Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Being in sexual contact with someone, involves that many substances in your brain detach, among them, the endorphins that are related with pleasure and relaxation, those substances can be considered as the morphine of our body, there are even foods which produce us the same effect, if once you have eaten someting and said: “this is much better than sex”, it’s because those substances are generating the same consequence in you because your brain is associating it to something that gives you pleasure.

Is it more important to make love than to have sex? I want you to understand that’s an absolute lie, making love doesn’t exist because like I’ve told you on many occasions, love is an energy that is and you have it with you as a right, hence, love can’t be made because it’s already done, what transforms a sexual relationship is the bond you have with the person you are deciding to connect with.

Like I’ve told you, we have grow up with endless myths refering to this matter, we even have made of sex something alien to love, and we have done it because along history we have been forbidden to experiment with our own sexuality because it’s seen as something bad, what happens when a child touches his/her genitals in public? The first thing that mom says is: “stop touching yourself there”, “don’t do it”, of course, in the mother’s mind the belief about sexuality is that it’s bad seen while for the child it’s something natural because he/she is experiencing with his/her own sex. Now imagine how will that child relate with his/her sexuality in the adult life?

In many ocasions I’ve told you, human beings live in a dual mind, and we define things good or wrong; sex it’s something we qualify as bad because since childhood we’ve seen it like this, and there’s such a conflict to it that we prefer to put nick names to our genitals instead of calling them the way they are: vagina and penis; and if we have them it’s because they both contribute on the creation of life, therefore, sex it’s part of you.

I find very sad that we’ve made of sex something promiscuous, because sex is one of the biggest connections we have as humans because in the intimacy there are two naked bodies where shame not longer exist, there are not masks anymore, just the two of you, and it’s a connection which involves that your thoughts, emotions, feelings and energy become unity with the other; what I find regrettable is that our interest in connecting and living in unity with ourselves gets smaller everytime and we prefer to look for that unity connection with an alien person who’s going to be with you for a moment, and by the time you leave each other, you will return to the person you deny to be with and the one you’ll spend the rest of your life, that person is yourself.

I find amazing that you decide to experience with your sexual energy, but you have to understand that energy is yours and only you decide with whom you will share it, remember that your genitals are truly sacred because that’s the place where all your creative power lies.

Women: Let’s break with that belief that if we are with one man or another we are “whores”, that it’s something that has been in our collective unconscious for centuries, stop believing that we will find a person who’s going to make love to us, like I’ve said, that doesn’t exist, you will connect with love as long as you feel it for yourself, and in that way you’ll attract people who will take care of you, respect you and value you in your sexual interaction and in that way, that bond will feel special, so I ask you woman don’t be afraid to experience your sexuality the way you want and with the person you choose, as long as you do it with awareness, having in mind that your vagina is one of the most important places you have because thanks to it you can create life.

Men: According to scientists your sexual desire it’s 2.5 times stronger than a woman’s because of the testosterone production you generate and that makes your survival instict to look for a fertile woman who can help you in the creation of life or to look for a person with whom you can accomplish that wish, that doesn’t mean you don’t seek to connect with someone, because for some men the sexual connection is also important, because you have the same right to experience your sexuality the way you want and with the one you choose, as long as you do it with awareness because your penis is a fundamental member of you and it’s neccesary to plant life, so it deserves to be treated with respect.

What I want to tell you with all of this, is that you have to start by relating with your sexuality from the side of freedom, understanding that you are responsible for it and in that way, you can stablish healthy limits to help you know it and live it, and then, you’ll be able to connect with your sexuality from the love that only can come from yourself, and in that way you can accept, respect and experience it with full and complete consciousness.

Respect, value and love yourself.
Shary ChavLó ∞

 

 

[1] http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sex