At the beginning of this year I talked you about how to find the perfect couple; I told you that being with the ideal person is an illusory concept of our mind, because like I’ve mentioned, we have been lead to believe that one of the human’s purposes is to find the love that nowadays is very limited.

I have friends who are single and when I talk with them about this matter they tell me that’s very hard to find a man who’s worthy because none of them want to have something serious, they say all of them are cheaters or that nobody is ready to have a commitment, others are with someone and say they’re “hopelessly in love” and in that same illusion they trust that person is “the one”.

The love of the past is just a memory.
Love of the future is just an imagination. Only here and now is possible to love.

Buda.

I’m very persistent in talking about love because I believe that love is the source of every healing, but I’ve never believed that love’s a consequence that results thanks to the presence of other; several times I’ve said that love comes from a self-state; nevertheless, the conditioning refering to love has been that only the other person can give us the love we desperately need and that will never be known by ourselves.

Remember our ego is the tiny part that lives within us and if it exists, is because it helps us to identify this experience as a material one; but in its state believes that everything’s against it and for this reason, ego needs to expand to be seen, loved and recognized; therefore, when that ego feels that finally there’s someone who recognizes, sees and loves it, then needs to define the experience and will call it “crush” and in its consciousness of separation that ego doesn’t desire the emotion to end because it believes that state is thanks to the other therefore, starts building illusionary castles believing that person is the “correct one”.

How do I know if that person is the love of my life? You have to know that the love of your life is yourself, because thanks to the infinite love you have, you’re who have the will to love the other; therefore, you contribute him with the love that lives within you; if you want to know if you are with the correct person, let me tell you that you are, the same way you were with your exboyfriend and the one before him because all of them came to teach you different learnings that possibly remained printed on your unconscious, for that reason in every new relationship you’re more awake and if you keep repeating the same story it’s because there’s a cause you haven’t seen yet and in that way you’re attracting the most challenging teachers that are making you mature in a very bitter way.

Maybe with the person you are now you feel “like you’ve never felt before”, and you are because your programs fit better than with others you were with in the past; those programs can result from dysfunctional patterns your parents inherited you.

  • Could be you had a father that left home; this refers that in your programming there’s an abandonment wound and to complete that program, “the one” who arrives, possibly will go away in a physical way or be with you without feeling his company, because the believing of your unconscious is that “men never stay”.
  • Could be you had a father with addictions to any substance; your program will make you meet the man with whom you feel different because it’ll be him who fits better with the addictions of your father and maybe you’ll find “the correct guy” with high levels of alcoholism or in other case, you’ll find a doctor, pharmacist or chemist who treats with chemical substances and you’ll do this because somehow, your program needs to be healed.
  • Could be you had an unfaithful and violent father with your mother; maybe you’ll find the best candidate that will fulfill that program of infidelity because that’s the truth you learned, or possibly the one who “transformed” into a jelous, possessive and controller man because that person is fulfilling the function your father taught you.

I talk about this because human beings are so conditioned to believe that we need to find someone to be happy and we look for that couple through very lacking programs; be sure that person you call “the one” will accomplish the fuction of healing you because he will help you to see the conditionings of your patterns; nevertheless, ego attaches to the fear it’ll feel if everything ends because it represents to go back to the cycle where it feels rejected and little loved, that’s why, it’ll stay in the place where’s making you believe that the other is the guilty and he’s the one who has to change and he will because he loves you.

Maybe you look for someone with whom you have the best chemistry and I’m sure you will, but from which place you’re looking for? Remember that chemistry after being experienced transforms into something else; what you really want is someone with whom you can make a great alchemy but to achieve that, you need to look, forgive, accept yourself, and of course, understand your programs and relate with yourself in a very conscious way and when you get to that point of evolution you’ll find the person who’s destinated for you, because both will know how to contribute and relate with each other from a place of equality and freedom.

I can’t assure you that in this experience you both will meet, everything depends on the learnings both souls need so they can evolve to find each other; if now you’re without anyone please don’t get desperate because from that unconscious way you’ll look for “the one” and maybe what the Universe, God , energy etc., wants to tell you is that first you have to love yourself and feel yourself worthy enough with who you are because you come from a unity and nobody can complement you; when you get to that process, then you’ll stop looking for the right person, because he the same as you, will know in which time and space needs to find you.

Have in mind that the nature of your soul is to be free so your soul is not stressed to find “the love of its life” your mind is who’s anxious serving your ego because it believes that if it stays alone will be judged with a hurtful label; remember that your integral being knows perfectly the moment when that person will come, it can be in this life or not, the most important thing is that independently of that, understand that nobody can complement the totality you are and when you get to that maximum fullness state, you’ll know that nothing is missing.

Love yourself,
Shary ChavLó ∞