Emotions are adaptive states that help us to relate with the environment and thanks to them we can relate with each other; the first human beings who stepped on earth discovered that the only way of feeling a sensation of love or affection was thanks to those external stimuli; from that moment we created the belief that thanks to he or she we can feel; that idea kept us away from our interior selves where the truth of oneself lies on.

When we talk about oneself means that we’re becoming aware of the great responsibility implied in taking charge of how we feel without believing that any situation or conflict that’s only identified by the ego revolves around ourselves, but involves a whole we have created in order to resolve a situation that we haven’t made conscious about; when we accept that we can give up to the guilt that seeks to attack the others in order to manipulate the way they feel as a response of the misunderstanding of our own feelings. 

Emotions help us create vibrational states and when we prevent ourselves to feel that vibrational wave that generates any experience then, that vibration stagnates and creates diseases held by the attachment; what’s attachment? It’s a lewd tool we use to identify with the other ‘cause we decide to coexist emotionally through the others, believing they’re the responsible of our feelings;  the attachment is a biological need that makes us recognize ourselves when we’re next to other people in order to feel that we have an identity; that’s why we put in the others the need of affection and recognition. 

“Emotional attachment is a jail for the soul, makes you see virtues

 that don’t exist and hope where there is none.” 

Rafael Ramos.

When I give consultations one of the fundamental matters we talk about is love; from my experience it has been complicated to perceive love the way it is ‘cause we’re used to add ornaments to it, due to most of the people assume that love is outside oneself and we do everything possible to reach it; nonetheless, at what moment ceases to be love? When the need of only being next to the other takes our autonomy away; therefore, we take the autonomy of others and without wanting it, but needing it, we transform those emotions in attachment ‘cause finally we find the trigger that makes us feel something towards ourselves and during that relationship, we forget who we are and in the moment this happens, the fall to the abandonment wound is imminent; and we justify it behind that the other has stopped loving us or maybe that love has ended, has this happened to you? 

I’ll tell you my dear brother or sister to stop telling yourself the story that you do or did everything in the name of love ‘cause this means you have decided to prostitute your self love; stop thinking that the other is the one who has to stay cause you give them your love in exchange of your company; stop believing that the others are who have to like you so you can be fine and by consequence, feel recognized; stop forcing yourself to put your own value in the hands of the others cause if you don’t know how much you’re worthy, the others will put you the lowest price; stop attacking with guilt and accuse them of your suffering cause if you do this, is a fact that you’re not loving yourself, you’re experiencing all your relationships from those attachments that you don’t want to get rid of ‘cause you’re afraid of feeling responsible of yourself. 

Remember that emotional attachment arises from the fear of abandonment and loneliness; its a cause that inevitably leads us to anxiety cause emotional attachment is born from the vague and illusory belief that the others are responsible of our emotional states and that, at the mind level, will always generate tension cause we’re more exposed to those defensive emotions as a resistance to the denial that the others can leave whenever they want and decide not to be there anymore; is in that breaking point that we choose to manipulate to retain; thus, condemning with guilt and dominance; however, when we achieve to become aware of our attachments, it’s easier for us to transcend the pain and reconnect with ourselves. 

It’s important that you stop judging the way you’re feeling cause your judgements transport you to situations of the same nature; free yourself from the addiction you feel towards others cause they won’t love you more for everything you give to them, remember that there’s a thin line to become that person who turns into the slave of what s/he thinks s/he has conquered and if you do it, it’s because you want it not because the others force you to; have in mind that emotional attachment will make you live in prison and aware of how the others make you feel so you can feel that you exist and you darling don’t deserve to violate your spirit or mind; be like the vagrant who walks in life without anything to lose nor anything to take care of but yourself cause you’re and always will be the best company you’ll ever have. 

Honour your freedom, 

Shary ChavLó ∞