According to my experience I can say that one of the things we have to work as human beings, is our own recognition.

For me, recognition is something that comes from self-love because is based on recognizing our achievements, our attempts, our progresses, our mistakes, our failures and our transformations along our life’s path.

The recognition doesn’t come from the other’s applause
it’s the result of what we’ve sown with love.

Paulo Cohelo.

Many times we want the others to see us because in that way we feel we belong, and that need of external recognition comes from our tiny ego who lives in constant fear and needs the others to look and recognize him so he can finally feel someone.

Why is so hard to recognize ourselves? I’ve told you that when we were children we didn’t learn how to love ourselves and if our parents didn’t teach us something so simple but so fundamental for the human existence, much less did we learn how to recognize who we are.

I’ll put it this way, when we went to school and got a bad grade or made a mistake, the first thing our parents did was punish or scold us, and sometimes they recognized us when our behavior was acceptable according to their rules and that capacity of school excellence that deserved a true applause, and of course it was something we were forced to do: be the good ones not the bad ones, now imagine the impact of that in our adult life! Of course it’s impossible to recognize ourselves at any circumstance, it doesn’t matter if we loose a job, we are being promoted, are doing what we always wanted to do, finished a long term relationship, fail in a project, get a bad grade etc., and it’s difficult because our programming doesn’t have the instructions on “what to say in case of”.

All of this, is the result of believing our mistakes deserved a scold and our achievements a hug, so, to recognize that we’re living mistaken confront us because we believe that the others won’t see us, but if we success then we’ll continually wait for the recognition of others because that worked in our childhood, and today it’s the formula we use in our life.

I want you to know that need of recognition has to do with that deep devaluation we have for ourselves, because we don’t feel worthy enough so we look for those external rewards to feel that we’re doing the things right.

If you notice and see it from another side of consciousness that allows the observation without any judgment, you’ll see that sometimes we give more to the others because in reality, we pretend that way, we can be recognized for how wonderful we are and how hard we have tried, it could be in a couple relationship or in any other kind; this can be due to different circumstances: control, if I give more then you’ll stay by my side and depend on me; to please others, it doesn’t matter how you treat me as long as you see me; by disease, I’ll get sick because that way I’ll have the attention of others; for victims because if I throw myself into misery then someone will come and save me.

If you are a person that always give more, please from now on do it with awareness without any ending claim based on: “look what I’ve done for you”, “I’ll always give more than you”, “I do everything” etc., because if you keep like this, then I’ll ask you: who ask you to give more?, why don’t you recognize that the others give what they can with what they have? Remember that all relationships are an investment that refers to a balance, this means: if I give, I’ll recieve without the condition of recieving the same, because I’m sure that both sides are connecting with love and giving from the most authentic place that is from the heart and that’s priceless.

If you are of the persons that don’t care how you’ve been treated as long as you’ve been recognized and seen, I want to tell you that you’ll never be satisfied and always will find people in your life who make you feel devaluated until you, learn how to see, recognize and love yourself.

If you are of the persons that constantly like to be sick it’s because probably you’re looking for recognition in others to get their attention, remember that diseases are just the symptom of an overlooked cause, so, what’s being your cause? Definitely something you’re not recognizing in you.

If you are one of the persons that likes to victimize using: “poor of me”, “nobody loves me”, all the bad thing happen to me” etc., remember that you are becoming your own agressor and the only thing that you are attracting is that the others look at you with pitty and not as an inspiration, now it’s time that you recognize and empower yourself to become the responsible of the life you’re choosing to live and manifest.

I want you to understand that the fact that you are in this world is enough reason to recognize that in you is everything you need to be valued, loved and respected, without the need of waiting the outside to tell you, it’s a matter of you seeing and accepting it, and in that way you’ll attract all the people who recognize the light that comes within you.

I recognize you,
Shary ChavLó ∞