In Mexico the family core is very significant ‘cause it’s the foundation that allows us to form our perceptions in relation to our environment; I don’t know if it’s the same in your country, but the family system here is a value that’s practically unbreakable. 

The family system is the circle in which we’ll develop all our lives, it could be that we have a relationship with our original family or that we create a family that gives us the support in those moments when we feel we can’t do it by ourselves; therefore, the family environment has turned into a fundamental key to our existence and survival. 

Like you know, we all have a biology; in it, is found the ancestral, cultural and social information that allows us to feel and believe that we belong somewhere; by consequence, our biology doesn’t perceive itself without a clan and it’ll do everything in its power to look for one, even if it’s in the most violent and confrontational ways, often represented in something we call bullying. 

What’s bullying? It’s an abuse tool where there’s an abuser and a harrassed, both of them look for each other for two different purposes; on one hand, the abuser needs to suppress his/her emotional traumas with the other person who reminds him/her of his/her own weakness and this makes him/her turn into an aggressor; on the other hand, the harrassed, needs an abuser to put emotional boundaries to those existential programs s/he believes s/he needs to be loyal for the sake of belonging, and be faithful to that belief that makes him/her feel unworthy. 

Where does the bullying begins? Last week I talked you about duality and I told you that everything in the Universe corresponds to a positive and a negative side to form the totality we are all made of; this duality was given through your two family trees, both of them gave you through every genealogical branch, the masculine and the femenine energy that helps you to create and to take action; every family tree has subfamilies represented by your uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents and all those people live directly or indirectly through two full states which are, love and hate; it doesn’t matter the state they’re vibrating in, all of them decided to stay attached as long as the family system doesn’t break and it’ll remain bounded by those who resonate in a positive or negative way, ‘cause both need each other to coexist among them; bullying is born from those polarities of belonging to the clan in which we were gestated and thanks to our biological information we attract environments that make us feel part of “another” family that’ll resonate the same until we decide the opposite.   

Possibly you’re one of the persons that has a wonderful family, except for some of the members that aren’t entirely well received by the system; but that rejectment or judicious positioning is your abuser mind that harasses the energy of those who doesn’t think, feel and believe like you ‘cause those people who corrupt the system are united to you in the same way, through a judgement where they feel abused by your energy and viceversa, this role game is necessary inside the family system ‘cause if there weren’t one, the clan would be broken. 

Family comes from the latin word “famulus” which means servants, slaves; this means the family in which we decide to be born and also the one we choose throughout our life, turns into a bunch of slaves we don’t want to leave although this implies to give up to our own lives; that belonging is transformed into a hidden loyalty, and this is a kind of bullying that we believe we need to replicate several times in our life as long as we ‘re part of a family system that feels familiar. 

“No one can make you feel inferior  without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt.

Bullying is one of the most serious problems that haven’t been eradicated yet and in most of the cases ends in suicidal; the harassment to others is the reflection of a wounded humanity that doesn’t want to take responsabilty of what it thinks, feels and does ‘cause all of us have practiced and suffered bullying; to begin with, bullying is sustained by the misguided judgement in relation to the situations that confront us and in order to not feeling that confrontation, we choose the projection believing that the other is the one that’s wrong; but in reality, the cause of that confrontation relies on the denial that the other is different and that resistance is released through mockering, before assuming the ignorance that causes the thought of being “better” than the others.

Bullying is a used tool in most of the relationships and starts with the main core that’s family; it could be that you had a family that was sustained by violence and abandonment, then your new social, academic, family and cultural circles, will be sustained by the same; and you, will play the role of the harrassed or the abuser and in that way, you’ll heal your family wounds through harrassment; maybe you had a stable and overprotective family system, but overprotecting a child is one of the most aggressive methods there are ‘cause it means blocking the empowerment of a person believing that in that way s/he will be free of suffering and that weakness, eventually will make her/him look for an agressor or a raper who will teach her/him how to empower her/himself in the most challenging way. 

Harrassment is one of the most complex matters ‘cause is the reflection of a separated mind that believes the others are different and it takes action from that same place; if you’re experiencing a bullying situation before anything you must know that bullying is detonated by the absence of self-love; the same that neither your parents, nor the school, nor the environment taught you; therefore, it’s very important that you ask for help ‘cause bullying is a very dangerous weapon in the human existence and it’s the one that has prevented us from manifesting union in the world; choose to raise your hand and say “I feel harrassed” ‘cause this means that you’ve finally listened to yourself and allow yourself to accept your wounds and emotional states as a part of you; asking for help means setting boundaries to that resonance which prevents you from accepting yourself the way you are and to enjoy a world you deserve to live without any attachment. 

You’re special Shary ChavLó ∞