Human beings are made of beliefs and thanks to them we build our concepts around life; everything we think and perceive as real, we inevitably manifest it due to the power we give to it. When those beliefs are questioned by others, we take a position and prevent oursleves seeing beyond things; this means, we stay with the perception of a reality that’s far away from being the truth.

What does it mean to take position? In many occasions I’ve told you that human beings have a dual instinct that comes from a consciousness of separation, this means that we’re still believing the evil is outside of us and we are just the victims of its actions.

In that belief where everything’s separated, we take position to defend those beliefs we have carried for years and even for generations; that positioning leans on the resistance of accepting that everything we think is not real and it’s just an illusion about what we want to believe.

Jealousy is a positioning of our minds that makes us imagine scenarios that are far away from reality; those thoughts that lack from love are able to create stories that can destroy us and torment us and of course, take away our self-peace.

“As long as we possess, we shall never love.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

I want you to know that jealousy is a state that’s positioned on the belief that we are less valuable than others; the same belief that talks about a lacking self-love based on the fear of loosing that person who had the courage of looking at us and being with us. Feeling jealousy is part of our survival instinct; like you know, we all have a reptilian brain that help us to react before a moment of danger, because our natural reflex is to defend our territory when it feels threatened.

Like I’ve mentioned before one of the rooted beliefs we have when we are in a relationship is believing that “the other” belongs to us, because we identify with thoughts of solitude; and remember that loneliness is a place in our mind that makes us think and feel that being with oneself is worthless.

Remember that inside our inifinite conditionings are ‘finding love’, look for the ideal couple to get married, live happily ever after, being together in sickness and in health until death do us apart… Those beliefs are part of a collective that needs to learn love from the most challenging ways; it’s important to mention that love is an act, not a reaction you have thanks ‘to the other’ to whom we unconsciously deny freedom.  

This means that jealousy is far away from a unity consciousness because when consciousness takes place, there’s  present, there’s love, there’s acceptance, there’s observation, there’s understanding, there’s compassion, there’s freedom, there’s trust and in absence of it, our mind starts to separate taking control over us and making us think that the other’s the one that’s leaving us to be with someone else.

Jealousy for low self-steem: One of the fundamental roots of jealousy is the self-concept in which we perceive ourselves; if all of the time we are judging ourselves or believing that we don’t have a friendly face or a depressing body, we condition and position ourselves in decreasing places related to others and that makes us see others as an impossible competition. If you observe this in you, first forgive yourself for not fulfilling the requirements the system demands and work on your self-value, because you’re priceless.

Jealousy for abandonment: Abandonment is one of the deepest wounds, which is protected through the dependency derived from the absence of one of the parents, that’ll make you look for people that constantly remind you that wound and even though that person wants to include you in his/her environment you’ll feel that s/he leaves you alone despite s/he’s next to you; remember you’re a wonderful company so work in believing that many people are by your side for who you are.

Jealousy for rejectment: Rejectment is something we constantly deal with because in our collective unconsciousness we think we can be rejected by our environment and this confronts us; thus, we condition ourselves under concepts of perfectionism, beauty, intelligence, capacities and talents etc., with the purpose of being accepted. In those conditionings our rejectment wound participates and reproaches us that we’re not the persons the collective wants and this makes us believe the person next to us will eventually reject us, because we’re not like we supposed to be and by consequence, that person will leave us. If you identify this in you, accept yourself as a human being and learn to live in the center of yourself because in that place, there’s no rejectment.

Jealousy for control: Control is a human adherent, we want and need to control everything; control is one of the most dangerous diseases a relationship can suffer from, because it takes away all the freedom to be, think and want; and we stop acting from a place of love and we behave from the side of fear; that control comes from the terror of feeling betrayed by that person to whom we strip away of his/her humanity and that makes us distrust of everyone, even of oneself about the reactions we could have, so we prefer to be aware of the other’s steps. If you notice this in you, live free and remember that person is with you because s/he wants to, not because s/he must.

Jealousy for infidelity: Infidelity is a programming of what we have lived and believed from a relationship, infidelity comes when freedom is non-existent, control is in charge and insecurity is what unites us, in addition to the unconcious patterns we follow for fidelity; jealousy is the cause that silently intervenes in the relationship until it destroyes it. If you have passed through this situation, act with consciousness and take the most loving decision for both of you.

It’s very important you have in mind that if you are in a relationship it doesn’t mean the attraction towards other people will finish; we’re humans and we’re here to experience; nontheless, that consciousness of freedom makes us understand that today we choose to be with someone that gives us fidelity and loyalty, this means we have to eliminate from our perception that ‘the others’ are the danger or the competition that seeks to take away what we own, we need to understand that the only danger is oneself, when you identify with those thoughts lacking of truth.

I find wonderful that you’re next to a human that contributes you in all the senses, but please build your relationship from the present, learn to communicate with yourselves to finally express your feelings with each other, so you can propose balanced solutions; be aware of your relationship and become a witness of your jealousy but don’t identify with it because that’ll make you prefer your mind and the control will be embracing you, while insecurity will be what you wear. Remember that person is not yours, if s/he is next to you is because s/he wants to; but if you have identified that besides being with you s/he looks to satisfy his/her needs with another person, then it’s time to decide if you prefer to keep cheating yourself or choose to be with someone who respects, loves and accepts you; because if both of you have decided to be together is to be partners of the same journey.

You’re priceless,
Shary ChavLó ∞