Some people say that a life without pain, is no life at all; I believe that pain is something that imprisons us, silences us and kills us, something that only transforms into negative emotions as time passes by.

For me, pain is a knock that throws us, and after it, becomes a challenge to stand up to face life; there are moments when is so intense that incarnates in our being, becoming our breathe, our senses, our vision… and we go wandering with a suitcase full of thorns.

Pain comes from those wounds that remain open and we forget to close… but I get it, sometimes there are too many, that we prefer to leave them there, even if they mark the essence of what seems like an empty life; and we abandon them because we’ve survived that way until now.

Some time ago I ended a relationship I was completely dedicated on, my time, my space, my feelings, my thoughts, everything… Until one day the magic dissapeared, our union broke and trust got hurt, and you know something? I had no trouble in recognizing it was over, but accepting it? That hurt to the bone, and it cost me many tears to end with that feeling that I turned into the worst of my sufferings.

Pain destroys the ego and grows the soul.

Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Wow that’s true! Because for me, pain is that reminder life sends to tell us that it’s time to move forward and detach, because if there was no pain there would be no learning and no growth.

Do you remember what I told you about hate? That I viewed it as a glass full of water into which we poured black ink? With pain is similar, it turns your days off, as if you were living in an eternal night, and the light of tomorrow decides not to come; and that’s how we choose to be, making the pain so deep, so ours, that we prefer not to release it and consequently, the gifts that life has prepared for us never arrive.

It seems as if pain chases us days, years, lives, but in fact we are the ones who follow it and we struggle to give it even from time itself; sometimes you feel it drowning, tormenting, even killing you. No one said it was easy to let it go, I know… the bright side is that we have the thermometer that determines how difficult we want it to be.

Of course it’s possible to heal that pain so that you can’t feel it anymore, the answer lies in accepting that’s there and now has become a part of you, from there, you’ll begin to transform it, just give yourself permission to feel it and let it go without any memory at all; for me, pain will not heal if you don’t start feeling it.

Keep in mind that pain is part of life and that all those scars are only the marks of a past that no longer exists, the point is allow yourself to heal it. Also, remember that there’ll be situations, people, experiences that will hurt you and pain will be implicit in each one of them; for this and more, I dare to tell you: please don’t allow that pain that you carry, be proportional to the love you deny to yourself. By accepting this, believe me, the best version of yourself will appear, and then you’ll be free.

My blessings,
Shary ChavLó.