The creation of the social networks has turned into one of the most important windows for the discovery of the world; I remember that one of the first social networks called “Hi 5” had the purpose of connecting with people and socialize with them; of course, everything is always evolving and today we have different social platforms that give us a highest posibility of connection. 

Weeks ago I talked you about the ego and I told you that one of the most dangerous tools it has is to submit you to the comparison with the others to make yourself believe that you have to be like others ‘cause only being yourself, it’s insufficient; much of that comparative source comes from the social networks that are giving power to standarized models of success or beauty that hypnotize you and separate you from reality and of course, from yourself. 

The comparison is a harmful instrument that has the capacity to overshadow your talents and virtues; making you believe that the others shine while you live in the darkness and when that belief unconsciously installs in you, you create in your mind labels such as: “I’m a loser”, “I’m a failure”, “I’m nothing”, “I’m worthless” etc., and those prints are the ones that limit and prevent you from believing that you also have posibilities to manifest abundance, this occurs because your mind only knows the feeling of failure according to its metric of comparison; therefore, your mind isn’t interested in erasing this belief that beyond of benefiting you, is hurting you.  

What’s failure? Is the perspective with which we observe the experiences that confront us in life; it’s an illusion of the mind that makes us think that if we don’t achieve our goals it means that we won’t be recognized by the outside, because in your head remains the idea of being perfect and that thought is a derivative of failure because for the perfectionist mind, the result will never be enough.

When we believe we’ve failed it’s because we relate the act with the loss, ‘cause we keep measuring life through the imposed results according to the expectations that arose before building a plan, and when expectations get involved in the process, the result will be sorrounded by the dissapointments that will make us believe we have lost everything. 

“Failure is part of life; if you don’t fail you don’t learn and if you don’t learn, you don’t change.”

Paulo Coelho.

The failure is an indispensable part of life because through it, you discover your internal strength because the experience of failure invites you to recognize your humanity; the one that’s designed to success and failure; nonetheless, in our separation consciousness, we continue trapped among what we believe is good and wrong, this makes us believe that failure exists in the negative duality; therefore, we deny to experience it. 

The basic purposes every human has, are being healthy, have love and earn money; curiously, only when things aren’t going well in our relationships nor economic abundance, we believe that we’re failing, but why does this happen? Because we believe the things we care about can only be obtained from the outside and whether we achieve them or not, we describe them as successful or failure, but the things that come from oneself are barely noticed, because failure and success are directly related to what others think about you. 

When you’re in a relationship that’s failing, the first stage you cross is the guilt that makes you think that you’re not giving enough to the relationship; nonetheless, maybe you haven’t noticed that this union has been built on the illusions, on the conditioning of time and on the affective needs you both need to cover; and this has made that none of you can form a successful relationship; the most dangerous thing about mutual guilt is when none of you allow yourselves to recognize that the relationship has failed, then you both look for destructive alternatives in order to stay together and in case that everything ends, you’ll look for a way of self-punishing you, making yourself believe that in love, you’re a loser.

When you are in a job or preparing a project that isn’t going as you expected, your first thought is: “what am I doing wrong?”, the reality is that you’re not creating anything wrong, the thing is that you’re conditionating your success through your expectations on how things have to work, that make you close your mind to the new posibilities that can bring you better benefits in your life.  

I want you to know that success is not a place you have to reach in life, the real success comes from your self-knowledge that helps you to recognize, love, forgive, help and trust yourself because your success results when you choose to believe in yourself even when nobody believes in you, because life’s not about having everything, it’s about feeling capable of everything. 

If you’re passing through a moment where things are not working out, it doesn’t mean that you’re a loser, means that your self-being is expressing in all the different stages it has to manifest itself so in that way it can learn and therefore be capable of evolving; cease to identify yourself with this chapter of your life ‘cause you’re only living an experience but you’re not becoming it; therefore, don’t choose to hide behind the distrust that’s telling you to: “never try again” 

Accept that you have failed, accept that you’ve made a mistake, accept that everything’s over, accept that you’re not perfect because accepting your humanity will make you to easily adapt to the source of constant changes that define the world and you’re also within those movements; please remember that the feeling that things aren’t going well, doesn’t mean you’re less lucky than the others; your soul is the one who chose this processs to learn and help you to bring out the best of you; you can be sure that you won’t loose anything if you try again, but if failing represents to stay there, it’s because deep inside of you is still the belief that you don’t deserve to move on because you have convinced yourself that you’re a loser; so please become aware of this and find the beliefs that are keeping you stalled on the fear you feel to move forward. 

Believe in yourself, Shary ChavLó ∞