Long time ago I talked you about the parents in relation to their children and I told you all of us were conceived according to the design our parents gave us, that’s called project purpose where all the unconscious programs of our parents were inherited to us so they could mark our adult life.

Of course as we grow up we start developing our conscious processes and everything we saw and listened from the adult world it’s the truth of the life we’re possibly living today.

Remember all the parents were educated under strict rules where the colective unconscious of their ancestors was based on the agression because most of them survived times of wars or revolutions and with that same hard hand they educated their descendants. Of course, modern parents have the same memory, believing that’s the only way to aducate.

You don’t have to hurt to educate,
and you don’t have to be hurt to learn.

Gangaji.

I’ve heard the only unconditional love that exists is the love of the parents to their children, but it’s quite the opposite, because children born with absolute innocence and for unconditional love and loyalty they’ll believe everything their parents tell them. Remember one of the main purposes humans have in earth is to feel loved and if our primary and essential love comes from the persons who gave us life, then children will do everything possible so that love never turns off.

If a child grew up in a dysfunctional environment where their parents didn’t stop to tell him/her: “you are a fool”, “I’m sick of you”, “don’t cry”, “you can’t do that”, “it’s your fault”, “look what you make me do”, “behave well”, “I do this because I love you” etc., all those words full of agression, children metaphorically ate them and become into something that’s called “trash children” those little ones who were designed to be the shattered bags where their parents deposited all their frustrations and decided to do it with their children who were destinated to love them deeply.

Those “trash kids” become little empowered adults, possibly with couples that make them feel devalued, with bosses shouting at them all the time and in an environment that humiliate them using our modern agression tool called bullying; adults who might possibly have overweight for all those saved tears kept in their bodies, those their parents made them silence with blows, or because of every word they had to swallow to please mom or dad; remember the invisible wounds are the deepest and the more decisive: can you see the big difference between being a lovely teacher and a hurtful dictator?

Once my father told me and my sister: “I’ve let you both do what you want” but today I know that’s not a right my father gave us, it’s a gift given to my sister and I from the moment we were born, that gift is called freedom, something parents should respect and give to their children, because all human beings have the right to experience free will, without even matter if they are grandparents, parents or children.

I’m sure a lot of our education was made without consciousness and without malice because our parents have a system they never gave themselves the opportunity to understand; they were introduced into a huge pressure cooker where they only grew up and made a family without even asking themselves if that was what they wanted, because maybe they only complied with those social rules that said how life should be.

Give yourself the opportunity to relax just a couple of minutes and ask yourself: what was my purpose project?, what did my parents want me to be? I can assure you all of those wishes your mother and father had, somehow you are turning them into reality because for your unconscious you were designed to accomplish your parents desires.

If you had parents hurting each other with indifference or terrible words all the time and were witness of those acts as a child and related that violence to couple’s stability, then think about how are your current relationships? Because maybe you’ll find they’re more of the same.

If you had parents that shouted, insulted or hit you please don’t justify them because they were and still are as humans as you, so recognize they were wrong and made the terrible mistake to teach you that the only way of knowing love was through pain; the only thing that’s left for you to do is to amend this teaching that pushed you away from the true lovely state, the one they forgot to show you and that can only come from yourself.

Our generations have been in families with violent parents, not just the ones who sexually abuse of their children, but the ones who limited our freedom and rights; the ones that silenced our emotions and we chose not to express them to avoid them an upset, those parents that only demand us to be excellent and perfect, parents who manipulate using love as a control tool, parents who told us we couldn’t do things, parents who compared us with our siblings so we could learn how to be better than them; because our parents without even knowing, violated the most important right we have that’s allow us to be ourselves.

Although you are an adult now you haven’t stopped being a child because sometimes you act from him or her, guided by those conditionings that are still active in you; remember that the fact of growing up doesn’t mean the memories are gone, believe me, all those memories are not there to be kept but to be understood, accepted and released, and despite your body has changed, I can assure you, you’re still the same child with dreams who wants to achieve them when s/he grows up and for that to happen, the only thing your abandoned child asks you is to honor your parents and the best way to do that is by not repeating the story that conditioned them as well.     

Find yourself,
Shary ChavLó ∞