One of the best periods in human’s life is when we were children because there were no conflicts to solve and as childs, it was easier to connect with the present moment, without a past to remember and a future to plan.

I’ve always believed that childhood is a fundamental stage to have a stable psycho-emotional development; not only because we start to understand the world but also our dreams are still awake, those dreams are the reasons we came to the earth; nevertheless, as we grow up, those yearns start to disappear because we need to enter in the adult world, a place where that child cannot longer exist.

Many years ago, one of my best friends arrived into my life, I was lucky to find her at a very young age and I’ve been able to witness her inspiring life story; she’s part of a family of 6 members and she’s the oldest of 4 siblings. When she was 5 years old she was forced to become an adult because she had to protect her mother from the domestic violence she was living in her home; she felt responsible of her siblings and she believed she had to be the intermediary on her parents fights. When we went to school together she was one of the most brilliant girls in class, my mind thought how proud her parents should be for the excellence of her grades, nonetheless, one day she told me those results were an obligation for her, because in that way she kept her parent’s hands away from landing on her body as a reminder of the child she had to be; also, her mother chose her as the trash can in whom she could deposit all those hurtful concepts about the man she chose as the father of her children; and when the night came, the worry of my friend increased when mom entered into the same bedroom as her father because that made her feel worried about her mother’s safety. When my friend found out her father had another family, that torn her apart, because as a good child she looked at her parents as the heroes of her story, an ilusion which of course got fractured thanks to the endless violence in which she grew up.

Later, she started with the adult life she already knew, the relationships that arrived to her life were inspired by the story she lived as a child; she looked for shelter in alcohol and drugs, the same ones who helped her to bring up the story that her parents irresponsibly put into her consciousness; from that moment, she started to create her own experiences based on the violence because that was the only tool she knew and decided to build her life around it: where do you think she left her inner child? Possibly stayed in the sadness she protected with anger, maybe she kept living in the injustice or inside the repressed crying that she prefered to shut down so she couldn’t feel hurt anymore; probably stayed locked up in the wounds that her parents provoked and today, she’s still trying to close; or maybe stayed frozen because of the hits her father and mother gave her with the excuse of a better education; or maybe, she lived in the abandonment of her father and the absence of her mother; a child that remained so hurt and scared that prefered to hide so nobody could see her, thus, her parents stopped the abuse they exerted over her, a little girl that could never grow up because she remained in the childhood she decided to frozen because it was broken; How about you? where do you think you left your inner child?

We need to listen to the child we were and still exists
inside us. That child understands magic instants.

Paulo Cohelo

Although we believe children don’t have any consciousness, they have the biggest connection adults loose over time, that connection with our aptitudes and gifts and we forget about them as we grow up, those talents that turned off because our parents possibly didn’t know what to do with them; causing that instead of nourishing them we decided to forget about them; and our aptitudes are the tools we brought to the world to act and live through them, nevertheless, we are in a system where’s impossible to live of our dreams because it’s more important to work for money.  

Remember our inner child is the main key that’ll allow us to become emotional adults, because one of the missions our inner child has, is to get us back to the love that is; the one that’s lived and felt without any judgment, but when we prevent that inner child to talk, unconsciously we become again in that judicious mother or father who doesn’t allow his/her child to express; because you and me, are responsible of our own child, the one who lives within us and instead of helping him/her to unlearn those lacking pathologies, we keep teaching her/him a learned system, the one that’s full of inconsitencies; so please listen to him/her and attend everything s/he tells you because only s/he can take you to the place where you are really going to grow up.

This woman that I talked you about, decided to work on herself and chose to get rid of her patterns and the words that for unconditional love she saved within her, it’s a woman that keeps working on her self-encounter and despite she has memories that still hurt her, she keeps working on them to finally transcend them. Many times she asked herself: why did I choose this parents and what did they have to teach me? Today she knows that she chose them to teach her one of the most precious lessons that was loving herself through forgiveness because she had to understand that the people who brought her to the world share the same transgressor story she lived as a child; she understood that she was educated by two hurt children with adult faces, and that knowledge has taken her to respect that her parents decided to learn that way and the most lovely thing she can do for them is to let them evolve like that. Today, as the good warrior she is; she has chosen to empty herself and fill the blank space with another system, that’s helping her to become the most inspiring and exceptional human being.  

I honor your inner child,
Shary ChavLó ∞