When I decided to begin my path in the spiritual world, I was fascinated by the posibilities I could reach through meditation, angels, energy, divinity and of course, myself.  

In that process of internal discovering, everything looked simple and easy until the attitudes of others started to seem irrational, I criticized them from my “spiritual point of view” and of course, I judged them from the position I believed as good or wrong.

On that path I found another kind of studies that I call more scientific ; those learnings took me to the same personal growth but from the darkest side, so I could observe the most challenging side of myself, and it was in those dim corners that I found my inner girl.

I found incredible how a person that I haven’t seen for more than 20 years could move me in such determining ways in my life; It was during that bittersweet encounter that my parents showed up, but not the parents that I had imagined as the best; but instead two strangers who also felt hurt while they educated me.     

“The world is surrounded by wounded children in the shape of broken adults.”

Shary ChavLó.

I’ve always been a very commited person in my relationships, jobs, projects and it was until my adult life, when studies started to take so much importance for me; I signed up in different courses, workshops, certifications, seminars and everything that seemed interesting; I did it without uderstanding why I needed to fill myself with all that knowledge. This of course, was completely normal for my conscious side, but for my unconscious there was a dysfunction that pushed me to this need of acquiring more and more information.

I remember when I was a child, I was extremely introverted, I used to ask myself very complex questions about life and I always lived in my own world. For my father was very important that my sister and I had good grades at school and he never let us skip classes; among his conditionings was that we had to study to become someone.

When I remembered the words my father used to tell me, I finally understood the need I had of accumulating studies; I understood that I didin’t study to learn something, but to get the recognition I needed from my father and finally, he could look at me as someone worthy.

When you were children your parents were in charge of programming you with the beliefs they considered the best method of education, among those beliefs were: “there’s no need to cry, crying is unnecessary, there’s no need to be upset”; or maybe If you cried it was reason enough to be beaten, or possibly they asked you not to be sad because your parents couldn’t deal with your sadness, the same they couldn’t have the right to feel when they were children. Those obstacles turn into the emotional illiteracy that prevents you to understand your emotional states as your own.   

I can tell you that the spiritual path is one of the most gratifying but at the same time, one of the most challenging there can be; because those criticisms, judgements and condemnations I felt towards the others, were the same I heard and received as a child; have in mind that it always be easier to blame the environment of how we feel, instead of taking responsability of our emotions, because by doing so, we’ll stop manipulating people and situations in our lives with them.

In my spiritual path, I’ve lost people to whom I gave so much of me, but the real intention of giving “more to them”, was that I wanted to receive the feeling of recognition and love; on those relationships I discovered my jealousy, possessions, lackings and dependency; this awakening helped me to understand who I am and allowed me to reconcile with the patterns that my parents inherited me when I was a child; this taught me that everything we live is directly related to ourselves; the others are just the tool we use to see ourselves the way we are.

Finding your inner child doesn’t consist on remembering the illusion you lived in the past,  but going to those places where you didn’t find any confort; accepting those unjustified hits that you couldn’t understand in the moment and maybe you forgot because the love you felt for your parents was stronger; or maybe, you couldn’t forgive those hurtful words you prefered to keep inside yourself and now you express them as a defense to the others; on all those afflictions you’ll find the result of your inner child, who is at your charge now.

The education you received at home was fundamental for your psycho-emotional development, maybe you only remember your parents fighting or maybe you were perceived by them through their contempt, because there are parents that just can’t love their children and that had an impact on the way you perceive the environment you live in; remember that our parents didn’t take care of our emotional consciousness, they were focused on fulfilling the basic needs that were having, educating and feeding us; and despite the incomprehension we felt towards their attitudes, the only thing that’s left for us is accepting them the way they are; remember they didn’t have the opportunity to transcend that information, it’s our turn to do it as their children and of course, as a new generation that’s looking for a real change.

I want you to know that as adults we are not longer in the position of asking for love, it’s all about giving it; stop judging your parents believing they did it wrong, they also were children and despite of the teachings you perceived as unfair and painful, now it’s your turn to do it in another way putting love first as a service to others.

In some part of ourselves, lives a child who see’s himself/herself through the eyes of an adult and to be able to reconcile with him/her we need to see him/her from the compassion and love his/her parents denied to give; believe this child is as scared as you are and the only thing that’s asking you, is to be listened and guided to understand himself/herself better; so give him/her the time that s/he didn’t have, allow him/her to cry what s/he couldn’t feel, and make him/her feel safe of those emotions that were labeled as forbidden; because our inner child is the key to our freedom or to our eternal sentence; therefore, let her/him to teach you with consciousness how to manage your emotions without feeling any shame while you are experiencing your feelings.

I hug you,
Shary ChavLó ∞