When we talk about family the first thing that comes to our mind are two adults with children next to them, because our nature is the perpetuation of the species for the procreation of the new generations, so they can do it in the future as well.

Many times I’ve heard: “What kind of world are we leaving to our children” when in reality the question should be: “What kind of children are we leaving in the world” because all those children are the responsability of two adults that were children once, but: what kind of children? Perhaps, they were loved, understood and treasured children? If they weren’t, then, what kind of adults they became?

I find wonderful that one of your goals be to enlarge your own family, but before you give that huge step, please ask yourself: what do I want to teach my children different from what I know?, have you ever make consciousness of your patterns so they won’t repeat them?, which have been your contributions in the world so they can do the same?, which are your attitudes before life so they can feel the same curiosity of repeating them?

It’s easier to build strong children
than to repair broken men.

Frederick Douglas.

Have in mind that children will always follow your examples and will never attend advices that they don’t perceive in you, hence, if you say to them: “don’t hit” when you hit them imagine the confusion in your message?, if they hear you criticising and judging people, what kind of learning you think they are going to take to their school? If you believe that being verbally, physically and psycologically agressive will help them to become strong adults, what you’re really doing is hurting them through your own resentment, the one that you haven’t allowed yourself to comprehend and heal and in an unconscious way you are leaving your harmful feelings on them and in the future, all those hard lessons will turn them into adults full of wrath and with a deep social resentment. 

If you’re going to teach something to your children, teach them what we didn’t learn that is to love themselves; guide them in how to be self-respectful so in that way they can be respectful with others, guide them in how to accept themselves so in that way they can accept the differences they can have with others, teach them how to be tolerant so they can understand their own peace is the most sacred thing there exists, help them to understand that their vulnerability will guide them to understand their emotions better, help them to learn how to listen compassionately so in that way they can hear others without judgment, guide them to be responsibles of their attitudes so they don’t take guilt as the cane of their lives. But if any of this exists in you, then start with your own self-knowledge so you can inherit them the wisdom of life that will turn them into emotional adults.

Remember we were educated under systems that don’t fit anymore with the new generations that are arriving to the world; we have to stop teaching girls that their mission in life is to become a mother and to the boys that their purpose is to transform into chauvinist men without any balance.

Please, we have to guide those new generations to freedom, because if there’s something we have to appreciate as humans is that we have the possibility to build our life the way we want, so don’t impose on them how to be, what to wear and how they should look because that will make them prisoners of the system you comfortably adapted to, and that until today, you haven’t been able to leave.

If you are an overprotective or absent parent, that will generate on them the same insecurities to face the world that’s already theirs and their empowerement will be activated from their low self-steem and that will make that they become into fearful adults and visualize life as a constant danger.

If you are a parent that prefers to educate them through beatings and insults that will make that every word and action be permanently registered in their unconscious and in their future, those prints will remain in their bodies and that will cause them an overweight; also they will seek relationships based on domestic violence and dysfunctional unions.

If you are a fearful parent who doesn’t want your children suffer or feel any pain before the situations that life puts us, then, you will program diseases on them like heart attacks as a cause of that pain they forbidden to feel so you don’t suffer.

If you are a parent that chooses blackmailing and says words as: “look what I do for you”, “nobody will love you like I do”, “I do it because I love you”, then you’ll make all the experiences your children choose to live will be based on the attachement and when the time to finish a relationship comes they will do everything possible to keep that person next to them believing they will be loved in that way and that, will turn them into emotional blackmailers.

Being a parent is a huge responsability that goes beyond of providing food and education: remember that children are the best teachers we have as adults, because they teach us how to see life without any judgment and label, hence, don’t take away that inocence and learn it again because that seeds called children will be the consciousness you want to see in your world and the change you, they and the next generations to come, wish to see.

Always have in mind that everybody were children once and we weren’t responsible of those unconscious programms which transformed us into wounded children supported by our own adult, but today, it’s our responsability to unlearn those beliefs that we buy as the correct ones so in that way, we can teach that living freely is the unique and true system we must follow.

Embrace yourself,
Shary ChavLó.