Our mother represents one of the most important figures in our life, she gave us her belly during 9 months and thanks to her we have an emotional and physical construction, but in all that process, where is our father?

I want you to know that our father’s role is as fundamental as that of our mother’s because thanks to him, you exist; nevertheless, his absence tends to be more marked because remember that inside the masculine unconscious, the role of men was to dissapear for months to fight at the wars while women stayed at home watching her children grow.

We repeat our childhood traumas what we’ve learned, we teach,
if your father abandoned you, you create children with an absent father.

Alejandro Jodorowsky.

The role our father has in our lives will affect in our adult life because our dad is who teaches us the discipline and the will to walk in life, therefore, he’s directly bonded with our relashionship with success.

Violent father: This kind of father is who communicates with his children through blows and words that underestimate their capacity; that made his children become agressive adults and in the future they will become the next parents who will teach with the same characteristic their father was educated because along his life, love has been equal to violence.

Overprotective father: This father is the one who gives everything for his children and works hard for them, a father who makes their children codependent of him and in the future they can’t do anything by themselves because they don’t know how to face life and also become intolerant to frustration, because this father was privated from many things in his childhood and that provoked him a repressed desire for not being awarded and recognized by his father, and now, this father deposits his essential needs on his children.

Materialist Father: This kind of father is who justifies his absence through material assets, if he sees his children cry they buy something to them to shut them up because this father doesn’t know how to handle the “internal self” of his children, because he doesn’t know it; a father who was educated with the philosophy that material things are the most important and rased his children as the “juniors” and this children hardly find their own path because they don’t know how to do it without the help of their progenitor.

Superhero Father: This kind of father is devoted to his family, they are loving fathers, excelent husbands and the one person that can do everything, nonetheless these parents put in their children the hardest work to improve themselves, because inside their children unconscious relies the idea that: “nobody can be as good as my father, not even myself”

Father Lover: The first love women know comes from our father and when our Elektra complex doesn’t break, we find a man who’s exactly like our father because our unconscious looks for the bond that recognizes, therefore, you might have a relationship with someone but in the end, you’re having an affair with your father.

 Emotional absent Father: This kind of father is the most common because remember that inside the masculine unconscious “boys don’t cry”, nevertheless, this is a father uncapable to join their children in their emotional states and they’re far from building their children from a compassive place because they destroy them, making that possibly in the adult life of his children, they look for toxic substances that help them express the emotions they never allowed themselves to feel, and from there, they will build dysfunctional relationships looking for love where they won’t find it.

Childish Father: This kind of father is the one who never grew up because his mother consented him so much that impeded him a true growth because it was more comfortable to stay in his mother’s arms; and today, he’s a father that besides of being dependent of his mother, his children are “his big brothers” who protect him because in the unconscious of these children, they’re the responsibles and the ones who have to take care of him.

Weak Father: This kind of father is little empowered, he’s affraid of life and took jobs with dominant authorities and maybe a controller wife while he plays the role of the victim; parents that have a deep wound of rejectment and maybe are giving you the message that willigness doesn’t exist, and that has generated in you fear to stand out.

Controller Father: This kind of father is the dictator of his home, he doesn’t allow his children to express themselves because nobody knows more than him and what he demands is what people have to do, that makes his children grow up with fear and in their lives will look for constant recognition because his children feel unworthy before his father’s eyes.

Chauvinist Father: This kind of father belongs to a system that has existed for thousands of generations; a father who’s still dividing women from men believing in concepts where women are weak and weepy and men strong and better than women.

Toxic Father: It’s a father who complains all the time about his life and what happens arround it, complains about the attitudes of your mother, and the actions of the neighbours, complains about you and he never stops doing it, is a father that uses the criticism as a flag and the judgment as his banner and in that same way you’ve learned, thus, you built your perception about the world and from there, you’re designing your life.

Irresponsable Father: This kind of father never gets involved in anything and orders you to tell your mother all your needs because this father prefers not to participate in any chapter of your life, that generated in you a deep lacking of will that has made you to be a person indecisive to achieve anything you want.

Blind father: This type of father is the one who looks everywhere except his children, he lives without looking the physical, emotional and psychological development of his children and he justifies this with the leyend: “they’re just kids”, “they’re young”; and in that way, he overlook the talent of his children as a result of the fact that his parents didn’t believe on him and he prefered to follow a system that was already built and somehow has worked in the family.

If you realize, there’s a characteristic that unites this type of parents, it’s the agression with which they were taught, the same your father used with you through the absence, violence, control, toxicity and this impacted in how you’re facing life. Despite your father had a huge responsability over your education, today is your turn to take responsability of yourself and choose if you want to keep carrying those patterns that are not functioning anymore.

Have in mind we all come from a system we have faithfully follow and it’s time to transcend it to create healthier generations that make the world finally evolve.

I understand if you have a father who hurt you and you feel resentment or hate towards him, just remember those emotions don’t hurt him but are generating a silent damage in you, so it’s better if you ask yourself: Until when I will allow myself to carry this? Have in mind that your father also had a story that challenged him where abuse was part of his daily food and that’s what he taught you, so stop blaming him because the only thing you’re doing is condemning his system, one that has allowed him to survive and one he has chosen and keeps choosing it to learn, so don’t recriminate anything to him, the only thing you can do is stop conditioning yourself through the same system.

I can assure you if your dad abandoned you, it was the greater act of love he could do towards you because if he wouldn’t have done it, imagine what could have happened to you if he would have stayed with you, possibly he would have destroyed you more than you think he did, this doesn’t mean that you’re justifying him but instead accepting that he took a decision according to his power of consciousness; remember that the most lovely thing we can do for our parents is thank them because thanks to them we are aware that we can choose our own story of life.

Remember your father wasn’t bad, he wasn’t the best or the worst, so don’t positionate him where he doesn’t belong, just give him the role of the human being who came to learn the same as you and the paths he chose maybe weren’t the most loving ones and without notice he took you with him; have in mind that your power is so big that you have the potential of getting out from the place you unconsciously were put in, because you can be at the place you feel are uncapable to reach and you know why? Because you deserve it.