I consider that loving oneself implies lots of challenges so that the magic of self-love can happen when on many occasions it’s perceived unreachable, ‘cause inevitably is necessary to know and most of all accept oneself without adhering those learned stories which make us believe that loving oneself means to be better than the others. I think that loving oneself is a term that just a few dare to face ‘cause, what does it mean to love yourself? Perhaps you have listened this phrase: “love the others like you love yourself”, but how can we love a person who decides to vibrate from hate instead of love?  

In my opinion I believe that until we don’t achieve to transform the concept that we have about love we won’t be able to experience it from its best attribute that’s freedom, ‘cause love is a state that you choose to experience and through it we can observe the situations, people and experiences ‘cause we finally understand that love doesn’t change anything, it just accepts what it is and allows itself to learn from it. 

I’ve always considered myself a person who tries to look beyond those collective concepts that we confuse as social, cultural and family duties; among them, I’ve been questioning the school systems ‘cause I believe that the function of many of them are obsolete; to begin with, I’ve never understood the insistence on teaching subjects that program our mind with nationalism, which for centuries has caused a lot of damage in us; I don’t understand why are we been taught about the thousands of rivers and all the geographical limits when we haven’t even known how to love, respect  and honor nature; I believe that if the school systems don’t begin to introduce programs that help with the emotional management of the children who are living in violent, abandoned or overprotective homes, then the new generations will attract more of the same with the few resources remaining; ‘cause is a fact that the emotional education is the basis that drives us to connect with self-love; which is the channel to connect with our inner-peace. 

I once told you about falling in love and I believe that all of us have experienced that situation where our brain produces hormones called dopamine and oxytocine which are the responsible to create the feeling of attachment and happiness; nonetheless, all of that has a finite time ‘cause this is the result of the ego’s strategy to connect with the unconscious program of the other person, but when the crush ends, the mind at the service of that ego doesn’t care to feel love for the things that confront it and teach it who really is. 

Love and happiness are states of peace that doesn’t feel in a certain way, ‘cause they’re not made to alter our emotional states, but to balance them; both are present and conscious states that make us feel one with everything independently of what we’re experiencing ‘cause peace isn’t something you can obtain, it’s something that you are; the challenge of living in balanced states is to take responsability about the things that take us away from peace in order to transform it, knowing that nobody has the right of hurting or prejudice us unless we give them the permission to keep our inner peace. 

The peace has the same root as patience, this means that when we’re in a situation that take us away from that passive state it’s because deep inside of us we’re controlling it as an escape response before a situation that we resist to make peace with it; have in mind that the ego likes to live in conflict, this means that it’ll always want to take us away from our safe zone because it feels uncomfortable with silence ‘cause it knows that when you’re enjoying the sound of nothing, its presence is unnecesary. 

“Don’t let  the behavior of others, destroy your inner peace.” 

Dalai Lama.

What take us away from our inner peace,? Remember that the human mind has the great power of being our best ally or our worst enemy and through it, we genearte emotions that alter us and take us away from unity; therefore, getting worried, connect with anxiety, having episodes of stress, thinking constantly in the past or about the future are the main causes that take us away from peace. 

Remember that human beings have been conditioned to comparison that’ll always make us feel unworthy; ‘cause comparing ourselves with others is one of the most painful processes that without a doubt, will drive us to our own self-war ‘cause we’ll look to become someone without allowing to be oneself; having the need of changing the other person in order to be loved the way you want, is like wanting to throw a wall with your bare hands and it means giving up to your internal peace; forgetting about oneself to be loved by the others means we’re enslaving ourselves to the outer love that’ll never be peaceful ‘cause when we look for the answers on the outside we normally do it from our need without awareness; when we’re staying in situations that make us feel unhappy, it’s because we believe there aren’t better choices, it’s like pouring with a dropper the guilt generated by the little merit we feel to ambition more; and for sure, all that ends up exhausting our inner peace believing that’s the life we deserve to live.

If you want to return to that peace you have chosen to take away from you, reprogram your mind with thoughts and beliefs you have related to happiness, love and harmony etc., ‘cause none of those states are conditioning emotions nor happen when you sacrifice for something or for someone; so give yourself the opportunity to think about the concept you have of yourself without letting you fall in the narcisism you choose as a disguise to feel better than the others ‘cause you use that to supress your shadow tha’ll never let you to be at peace with yourself; establish limits with situations and people who don’t give you good treatment; but most of all, set boundaries to yourself ‘cause the treatment that the others give you will be the reflex of the love you give to yourself and that little affection won’t give you any stability; connect more with the present ‘cause this moment is more objective than the past that doesn’t define you or the future where you don’t exist ‘cause in those timeless moments you won’t find the peace that your mind, body and spirit needs; you’ll recognize that state of unity when you accept the reality that confronts you and that you also reject; so give yourself the opportunity to reconcile with the control that’s taking you to places where peace isn’t the goal; in the same way, remember that the decisions you make aren’t correct or incorrect, ‘cause when you use your personal power to experience, live and learn, it’s more than enough, ‘cause finally you recognize what gives you peace and what takes it away from you; feel responsible of your emotions ‘cause when you forgive yourself for how you feel, automatically you adhere passivity to your mind ‘cause then you’ve reached the most important step that’s recognizing yourself, ‘cause inner peace isn’t a goal in life, it’s the beginning and ending of the existence where everything is unbreakable.

Peace in me, peace in you, Shary ChavLó ∞