One of the books I love the most is “The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint- Euxpéry” for me is a very deep book, it’s about a kid’s vision of the adults world, from an innocent perspective out of judgement; just the way the world should be.

You know? I don’t know if I want to be a mother, despite that I believe women are designed to create and give life, something I find amazing, nonetheless, I don’t agree with certain social rules of getting married and after “write to the stork”, because it’s not about having a child to complete a family, it’s about understanding that I’m bringing a human being, a new consciousness.

You can only see well with the heart
the essential is invisible to the eyes.

Antoine de Saint- Euxpéry (The Little Prince).

I had quite condescending parents, they worked all the time and it was unusual that they spend some quality time with my sister and I, sometimes the domestic employee that took care of the house was the one who took care of us, I’m considered a crystal child so I was very absent and private all the time, I’ve always lived in my own world and school was very complicated for me.

You know something? I would have liked that my parents stimulated me, I would have liked that my parents pushed me to believe in myself, I would have liked that my parents potentiated my skills, I would have liked that they asked me which were my dreams? Without thinking I was too little to know, without assuming I was to young to have an opinion, but now I know, everything is in the past and I cannot change it, but today, it’s my responsability to follow those dreams.

If you are parents I ask you, don’t take away the innocence of your child, don’t fill them with prejudices that only adults have, remember that imposed discipline doesn’t mean you are educating them, it’s okay if you teach them and show them some rules but there must be rules that everyone follows, bceause we’re talking about a balance were everybody participates, because a family is a team where everyone plays, not only where are participants and opponents, because that will generate your children be afraid of you and when they grow up the world will be huge for them.

Please encourage them to do things by themselves and to be the authors of their lives so they can see and believe in their huge potential, allow them to use the most beatiful gift we all have that is our free will and decide what they decide don’t judge them because for them, nothing is good or bad, that only exist for you, that your job be joining them, without thinking that without you they are unable to do things, remember they don’t need an overprotective mother or an authoritarian father, they need democratic parents.

Invite them to participate in all the family homeworks that only you as a parent know how to do and congratulate them when they do it, that doesn’t mean you have more knowledge than them, you both have more experience in life because you’ve been through different processes that made you take different decisions and thanks to them you’ve became who you are today.

From now on validate your children with their thoughts and emotions, if they are upset or sad don’t tell them not to be, ask them why of that emotion, remember that they came with a brand-new chip that will be programmed thanks to you, they also came to experiment emotions and feelings that many times they don’t understand, just guide them to be responsible of those emotions without using them as a manipulation tool to achieve things.

When I talked you about guilt and responsability, I told you that guilt comes from the outside due to the approval necessity of others to us, and responsability comes from inside of us, therefore, when your children have merits or mistakes that doesn’t take away or add any extra value, because they think they need to be prepared for your evaluation as a good or bad kid, just help them how to empower themselves to achieve beneficial changes in their development.

Remember something, all human beings have our own internal true it doesn’t mean that is the real or the true one, so encourage your children to discover theirs, and if your children are being a challenge, then give yourself a look and ask: what is the image that I have of my children that they don’t stop showing me that vision?, how do I communicate with myself and my couple? why the actions of my children are confronting me like that?, what are they trying to teach me? Avoid fighting with them because if you do that, they will win the battle that must be conquered by you, remember that today, your emotional maturity it’s completely different and that, makes you to have the control over the situation and not the opposite.

Have in mind that you have a relationship with your children and any relation is based on assertive communication, and many times will be determinated by your mood, and that mood is something that your children don’t understand, finally, relationships are the based for human evolution; so in the same way you will help them to grow they will help you to grow as well. Your children will look at you as mirrors, they need to imitate a pattern because for them don’t exist self-validation and self-reflection, remember that is not about being the best parents, because nothing will be enough to fullfill that demanding job.

I have the guts to talk you based on my experience and according to what I’ve seen, because I have reached the conclusion that most of our problems emerge from a misunderstood childhood, today is talking to you that Shary that was a child and maybe one day will be a mother, and she’s sure that children are who are going to transform all history, the most important thing is join them with love and self-acceptance, without trying to avoide them the bitterness of this world, just teach them how to face it and in that way, they’ll be able to embrace and love their lives.

All my blessings for you,
Shary ChavLó ∞