One of the services I offer is to give therapy; I’ve always loved listening to people and seeing beyond them, I don’t know if it’s a capacity, gift, aptitude or talent, I just know that’s something I do the best, and it makes me feel good that I can guide people to their own encounter, the same way they contribute with my growth.

Every therapeutic process is different because all the people have different visions in how they see their world; at the begining of every therapy, the first thing I do is to break the ice with my patients, I start talking about myself and in that way they start feeling free to tell me about their story. When you are the therapist it’s easier to observe the resistance the patients have, the same that prevents them from understanding with consciousness the situations they’re living; their body language changes; in some their voice gets softer, and in others, they prefer to remain quiet about what they’re listening; all this as result of their own resistance to accept that there’s something they’re confronted with.

Change is never painful
only the resistance to change is painful.

Buda.

Why do we resist? For the non-acceptance to the order of change, for the disappointment of the expectations over reality; for the rejectment of the idea that we’ve been a creative cause, because inside of our conditionings we have to be perfect, and most of all, the resistance to release the control over something that’s not under our control anymore.

Resistance was created as a defense method that has been taught thousands of generations ago, because human being became more instinctive than human, and any situation that puts him/her in physical, mental or emotional danger will take him/her to act from the strenght and not from the consciousness.

What does it mean to act from strenght? It’s to think that I have control of everything and everyone; this means that I need to solve from my perception; the one that normally is far away from the reality I don’t see, which means, the more control there is, the more resistance I’ll have to let the solution flow through me.

One of the experiences where we resist the most is when we end up a relationship that we swore was forever, because normally it’s in our relationships where we deposit all our conditionings related with love, recognition, acceptance and company; when a relationship ends, the first thing that’s activated in us is the resistance to not-belonging and instead of letting go, we attach to the story that could have been and reject the story that is.

In our life we will have chapters that confront us and if there’s confrontation it’s because there’s no acceptance before what we’re living, because we don’t accept how we feel and much less, we’ll accept that the other is different than how we have imagined him/her; this means that if we keep positioning ourselves on the resistance side, we’ll keep creating the same situations over and over again.

Is it painful to resist? Do this exercise, squeeze your fists as strongly as possible, bury your fingers or your nails in your palm and wait there more than 5 minutes; your mind will tell you that you have to continue, observe what you feel, what you think, don’t give up, don’t loose it… Of course, in a conscious way you got hurt and tired until you surrendered, what do you think was the purpose of doing that? None, that’s what resistance does with you, it tires and hurts you without you even notice; but the mind is so powerful that its dialogue challenges you to be in a silent resistance and even if you don’t see it, unconciously it blocks, tires and hurts you.

Why don’t you surrender? That’s one of the questions I do to my patiens and I ask the same to you; we don’t surrender for the fear of not having more of the same, because we’re afraid that new situations take us out from our status quo; we don’t give up for the need to be right about everything; because we think that the other has to be like us and we want and insist on changing him/her instead of changing myself.

I want you to know that surrender is not realted with weakness nor failure; I’m certain that surrender is one of the greatest values human beings have because it allows us to adapt to change and gives us the opportunity to accept the reality the way it is, without any attachment nor resistance to transform things in our way, but surrender to the understanding that there’s a higher consciousness than ours who knows that everything that happens to us is thanks to a wise reason, and it doesn’t matter what happens next because we’ll still be with ourselves, in peace and harmony with everything we experience at every moment;  when we get to that power of acceptance then there won’t be any resistance, there’ll be consciousness.

The world is passing through very challenging situations that are affecting us  individually and of course, collectively; because we want to keep learning through control that’s handled with strenght and is adviced by resistance; nonetheless, I believe it’s inconsistent we don’t have any resistance to suffering, violence, abuse, judgement, condemnation, criticism, comparing, envy; but we do resist to love, believe, heal, being in peace or being happy; and it’ll be until we stop resisting to change our beliefs that the transformations humanity needs will happen, for now, we’re still resisting to the change, the only one that can lead us to a true stability.

Surrender;
Shary ChavLó ∞